Forcing love sounds stupid, but there are a variety of reasons a man might be feigning love. Maybe he thinks you’re great and that he SHOULD be romantically into you, but for some reason isn’t. Maybe he’s desperate to be in a relationship. The crazy thing is, sometimes men (or women) don’t realize they are forcing themselves to love someone.
But whatever the reason, the results can be damaging in the long run. While a marriage may go through ups and downs and times of just holding on, a relationship in the early stages shouldn’t have to endure if it’s just not right.
These are six simple signs he might be forcing himself into a relationship with you:
1. He asks if you want a break
For decent human beings, breaking someone’s heart is never enjoyable. That means that sometimes just ending a relationship seems like an impossible task — even if secretly it might be a relief if it ends.
If he offers to take a break multiple times — making it seem like something YOU want — this could be an indication that he doesn’t want to hurt you and end the relationship, but he doesn’t necessarily want this to be a forever thing.
2. He avoids difficult topics because he doesn’t want to make you mad
When you have the long-term in mind, you know there are going to be difficult topics that need to be discussed. Putting these off for too long will rot a relationship from the inside out. When you’re committed to a relationship, you cross those bridges because you know your relationship can’t progress without it. If he avoids it at all costs, staying together might not be at the forefront of his mind.
3. You’re the one that initiates everything
Were you the first to say "I love you"? The one who initiates the talks that help you progress? The one who brings up marriage? There’s nothing wrong with being the first to initiate, but if you’re consistently the one who makes the relationship move forward, he could easily be coasting.
4. He was desperate to be in a relationship when you met
Does he love you or love being in a relationship? For some, there is nothing worse than being alone, and that means forcing through a relationship you’re not truly convinced about is better than not having a plus one to his work party.
5. He’s unusually emotional
Some men are just emotional, and we love them for that. But if you were friends before the relationship started and his mood significantly shifted since becoming a thing, it’s probably a sign something isn’t right. Just be aware, it might not have anything to do with you. Don’t immediately jump to conclusions based on this alone.
6. He tries to change normal things about you
He loves you, but … he just can’t stand the way you touch your neck when you’re nervous. Or he wants to change what food you eat. Or he mentions he would love you more if you didn’t get so excited at little things.
What he expresses as problems with you are actually the symptoms of a man who doesn’t truly love you.
If several of these sound like your relationship, talk to him about it. Although it can initially mean heartbreak for you, in the long run finding the right relationship for both of you will be worth all the pain.
Amberlee Lovell, FamilyShare
EMAIL: alovell@deseretnews.com
