Is it illegal to date a minor? (2024)

Posted on May 31, 2023

As long as the relationship is not sexual, it is generally not illegal merely to date a minor. If the relationship is sexualor involves any sexual contact, the ages of the parties will matter. So will where they live, as each state has

• its own age of consent law,
• its own “Romeo and Juliet” law, and
• its own definition of sexual conduct.

Is it illegal to be in a non-sexual relationship with a minor?

No, it is generally not illegal to simply be in a non-sexual relationship with a minor.

However, just because it is not illegal to date someone underage does not mean that everything in the relationship is permissible. Some non-sexual conduct that is common in dating relationships may still be illegal. For example, in California, someone who dates a minor will still have to take precautions to avoid breaking the following laws:

• providing alcohol to a minor (Business and Professions Code 25658 BPC),
• lewd acts with a minor (Penal Code 288 PC),
• loitering on school grounds (Penal Code 653b PC),
• solicitation of a minor (Penal Code 288.4 PC),
• annoying or molesting a child (Penal Code 647.6 PC),
• child p*rnography (Penal Code 311 PC), and
• lewdness in the presence of a child (Penal Code 273g PC).

Many of these laws can be broken without any physical sexual conduct, at all.

What is sexual conduct?

Different states define sexual conduct differently. Small details matter. Some states do not even call it “sexual conduct.” Other phrases include:

• sexual intercourse,
• sexual acts,
• carnal knowledge,
• sexual contact, or
• acts of penetration.

In California, the phrase is “sexual intercourse.” It covers sexual activity involving the penetration of the vagin* or genitalia by the penis, even if there was no ejacul*tion.¹ The degree of penetration also does not matter.² If there was any penetration, at all, it is sexual intercourse.

Texas, on the other hand, uses phrases like “sexual contact” and “acts of penetration.” There, it is illegal to intentionally or knowingly cause the:

• penetration of the anus or sexual organ of a minor,
• penetration of a minor’s mouth by the actor’s sexual organ,
• minor’s sexual organ to contact or to penetrate someone else’s mouth, anus, or sexual organ,
• minor’s anus to contact someone else’s mouth, anus, or sexual organ, or
• minor’s mouth to contact someone else’s anus or sexual organ.³

Is it illegal to be in a sexual relationship with a minor?

If a dating relationship with a minor involves sexual conduct, it can be illegal. The ages of the couple and the state’s age of consent will determine whether it is a crime, or not. If it is, the offense is generally statutory rape.

However, many states have a close-in-age exception. Also known as a Romeo and Juliet law, it allows couples who are close in age to have consensual sex without being liable for statutory rape.

What is the age of consent?

The age of consent is how old someone has to be in order to legally consent to engage in sexual conduct. Whenever one person engages in sexual conduct with someone else who is under the age of consent, it is a sex crime.

In the following states, the legal age of consent is 18 years old:

• Arizona,⁴
• California,⁵
• Florida,⁶
• Oregon,⁷ and
• Virginia.⁸

The age of consent is 17 years old in the following states:

• Colorado,⁹
• Illinois,¹⁰
• New York,¹¹
• Texas,¹² and
• Wyoming.¹³

However, it is 16 years old in the following states:

• Hawaii,¹⁴
• Idaho,¹⁵
• Montana,¹⁶
• Nevada,¹⁷
• New Mexico,¹⁸ and
• Washington.¹⁹

Because the age of consent varies by state, permissible conduct in one state can be a crime in another. The age of the couple matters, a lot.

For example: Andrea is an 18-year-old dating Tom, a 17-year-old. They live in Colorado and can legally have sexual intercourse, there. They then visit friends in California and have intercourse. Andrea could be charged with statutory rape because Tom is under the state’s age of consent.

What is a Romeo and Juliet law?

Romeo and Juliet laws provide a close-in-age exception to statutory rape charges. This is a legal defense to an allegation of a serious sex crime. The defense is that, while it is true that one sexual partner was under the age of consent, the other partner did not commit a crime because he or she was so close in age. These laws protect high school sweethearts who have sexual relations from a serious sexual assault conviction.

Texas is one state that has a Romeo and Juliet law. It says that a minor can legally consent to sexual contact or penetration if:

• he or she is a 14-year-old, 15-year-old, or 16-year-old,
• the other, consenting sexual partner is within 3 years of his or her age, and
• the sexual partner is at least 14 years old.²⁰

For example: Before moving to Colorado, Andrea and Tom lived in Texas. There, Andrea, then 18, had sexual intercourse with Tom, then a 16-year-old. Texas’ Romeo and Juliet law would protect Andrea from statutory rape charges.

Many other states have similar criminal laws. However, the details tend to vary. Some states may only require the partners to be within 5 years of each other. Others may have minimum ages that require both partners to be at least 16.

California, however, does not have a Romeo and Juliet law. Anyone who has sexual intercourse with someone else under the age of consent can be charged with a crime. The only exception is if the sexual partners were lawfully married.

What are the penalties for statutory rape?

Statutory rape is a severe sex crime. States tend to punish convictions with steep fines and significant prison sentences, as well as other consequences.

In California, statutory rape is a wobbler. Prosecutors can choose whether to pursue misdemeanor or felony charges. If pursued as a felony, convictions carry:

• 16 months, 2 years, or 3 years in prison,
• up to $10,000 in fines, and/or
• felony probation.²¹

If one sexual partner was under 16 and the other was 21 or older, though, the range of prison sentences increases to 2, 3, or 4 years.²²

Additionally, defendants who are at least 18 years of age can face civil penalties for merely being charged with statutory rape. These fines depend on the ages of the parties. They are:

• $2,000, if the younger partner was less than 2 years younger than the defendant,
• $5,000, if the age difference was at least 2 years,
• $10,000, if the age difference was at least 3 years, and
• $25,000, if the underage partner was under 16 years old, and the older partner was at least 21 years old.²³

Other states have statutory rape laws that carry even higher penalties. In Texas, for example, statutory rape is a felony in the second degree. Convictions carry:

• 2 to 20 years in prison, and/or
• up to $10,000 in fines.²⁴

In nearly all states, convictions will require the defendant to register as a sex offender.

With such high penalties of a conviction, defendants should strongly consider establishing an attorney-client relationship with a criminal defense attorney. With the legal help of a lawyer from a reputable law firm, defendants and young adults can avoid a conviction for a serious sexual offense.

Please see our related page on whether an 18-year-old can date a 16-year-old.

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