Is There A 'Correct' Way To Wipe Your Arse? (2024)

Everyone has those character assessing questions they ask new friends once they get comfortable enough to do so: do you keep ketchup in the fridge or the cupboard? How much milk do you have in your tea? That sort of thing. Mine is this: do you stand up to wipe your bum or do you do it sitting down? Arguably, this tells you absolutely nothing about the other person. What it is guaranteed to do, however, is spark a debate. Those on either side of the fence find themselves weirdly passionate about their preferred wiping position because nobody wants to admit they’ve been sh*tting wrong their whole life.

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To clarify, I’m a sitter. I’ve always been a sitter. When researching this highly professional and groundbreaking piece, I went to the source of my wiping to see if I was taught to wipe my ass sitting down or standing up. My mam, as she says about a lot of my work, asked, “Why are you even writing about that???” before clarifying that she stays sitting for her wipes and taught me to do so during toilet training too.Those less determined to hold onto the lessons of childhood, their mother and their familial wiping techniques, say that making the switch for a different wiping position has been revolutionary. “I used to wipe standing up,” wipe convert Jacob tells me, “Now I couldn’t imagine standing up. I mentioned standing to wipe once in front of a group of people and they looked at me like I was an absolute demon. Obviously I said I was joking, but I wasn’t. After changing my ways I do think it's a lot cleaner sitting down.”The superiority of the sit-down wipe comes from, as far as I see it, that your ass cheeks are spread and not pressed together, which logically would press any poo particles against your skin more. Ardent standing ambassador Elli, however, says standing feels cleaner. “I’ve always felt outcast as a stander but I just like having more room to sort yourself out,” she explains. “I don’t wanna be all hunched over and unable to reach properly.”

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Eve, a user of both the standing and sitting methods, agrees with Elli. “I used to not understand why you would need to stand up and wipe but sometimes I do it now just to make sure I’ve got every bit and it’s made an improvement to my routine,” she describes. When asked about the cheek spreading conundrum, Eve divulges that she will “spread my legs as I lift up and bend over for the standing wipe. I need to pull the cheeks apart when standing, but I always do it as a after sit down wipe so the majority excess has been removed.”With both sides making stellar arguments for how best to clean sh*t off yourself, it felt important to seek out an expert opinion on the (faecal) matter. Surprisingly, apart from the age old advice to wipe front to back, there is little expert opinion on the internet about preferred sh*t wiping stances. In an interview with Metro Parent, however, Dr. Jacqueline Metz of Southfield Pediatrics recommends when potty training it is “usually easier for children to reach their bottoms when standing up” but in adulthood “people can wipe sitting down or standing up, depending on what is easiest for them.”Marie, who is currently potty training her own daughter, currently uses the stand up method too. “When we wipe her bum, we ask her to stand up as we find we can get a better angle and ensure the whole area is clean.” Marie continues, “But when it comes time to teach her to wipe herself completely alone, I reckon we’ll teach her to do it while sitting down — as this is what both her dad and I do. We find it comfier than the stand-up wipe.” Essentially, the arguments of standing versus sitting boil down to what is easiest for the person wiping.

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But Harrison, who was presumably taught the standing up method during potty training, said he didn’t even know sitting down was an option until he “saw a tweet saying ‘if you stand up to wipe you’re vile’ or something along those lines.” Just like Jacob, Harrison converted to the sit down system soon after. “I feel like I’ve really wasted my life not giving me crack the wipe it deserves.” Harrison continues, “You can’t wipe properly stood up, end of. The cheeks are closed and the damage is done.”Just like the great debates of whether a bacon sandwich needs buttering (it doesn’t) or if pizza is better cold (it isn’t), the dookie wiping discussion comes down to personal preference. At the end of the day, as long as your arsehole is clean it doesn’t matter which way you’re reaching it.@GINATONIC

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Is There A 'Correct' Way To Wipe Your Arse? (2024)

FAQs

Is There A 'Correct' Way To Wipe Your Arse? ›

Wiping Front to Back

Does it matter which way you wipe? ›

Wipe Your Butt From Front To Back

"There are far more bacteria in the rectal area; that's why you want to avoid dragging the toilet paper in the other direction toward your urethra. Bringing this bacteria up [towards the] front can contribute to a urinary tract infection," said Dr. Dweck.

How much wiping is enough? ›

Not to mention, wiping a lot can make you itchy and uncomfortable when you finish going to the toilet. Ideally, after a bowel movement should only use two to three times to wipe the toilet paper. If you're experiencing something that's bothering you, see your doctor if your symptoms persist.

Why is there still poop after I wipe? ›

The soiling mostly happens after the bowel has been open (defaecation or using the toilet for your bowels) and for that reason it is called post defaecation soiling. It is generally because the bowel hasn't completely emptied and some of the stool has been trapped low down in the rectum (lowest part of the bowel).

What does wiping the wrong way do? ›

So, what's the real danger if you don't follow the wiping rules? Wiping incorrectly can cause a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), which is an infection of the kidneys, bladder, ureters or urethra. A UTI typically occurs when bacteria that live inside the bowel find their way into the urinary tract through the urethra.

What is the best way to wipe out? ›

Unless you have physical limitations that prevent you from doing so (more on this later), it's best to reach around your body, behind your back and through your legs. This position allows you to wipe your anus from front to back, ensuring that feces is always moving away from your urethra.

Why should you never wipe more than three times? ›

George is a pelvic floor physiotherapist so she does know what she's talking about, but she explains that wiping more than two or three times is called "fecal smearing" and you're really just pushing around everything down there more than it needs to be.

How do you know if you're wiping properly? ›

The Right Way to Wipe

Simply reach behind your back and between your legs, using plenty of crumpled or folded toilet tissue. Wipe backward from the perineum , the space between the genitals and anus, moving toward and past the anus. Use additional wads of toilet tissue as needed until the paper is mostly clean.

Should men wipe after they pee? ›

Should guys wipe after they pee? While most men are content with shaking after they pee, it's a good idea to make a small wipe or dab to ensure that there is no remaining urine. This will help keep your urethra and your undies clean!

Should you wipe your bum, sitting or standing? ›

The superiority of the sit-down wipe comes from, as far as I see it, that your ass cheeks are spread and not pressed together, which logically would press any poo particles against your skin more. Ardent standing ambassador Elli, however, says standing feels cleaner.

What is ghost wipe? ›

Robust Ghost Wipes hold together even when used on the roughest surfaces. In the lab, Ghost Wipes readily and completely dissolve during digestion for maximum recovery of target analyte(s) - there is no messy fibrous material to clog the sample uptake capillary or nebuliser.

What does ghost poop look like? ›

Whatever you want to call it, ghost poops – bowel movements that either don't leave a trace on the toilet paper or aren't visible in the toilet bowl at all – can be a baffling experience. Recently, TikTok creator Janine Bowring shared her insights into the confounding experience.

What causes infinite wipe poops? ›

Having to use a lot of toilet paper after pooping imay indicate some health conditions, including hemorrhoids or fecal incontinence. If you feel like you have to use half the roll of toilet paper after you have a bowel movement, chances are you may have an underlying health condition.

How should a woman clean herself after peeing? ›

There are two main methods of keeping your vulva healthy after urinating. The first is with soft tissue paper, and the second with warm water. Be gentle with both to avoid skin sensitivity and irritation.

Does it matter which way you wipe when you pee? ›

“If you wipe back to front, there's a potential to introduce bacteria from the feces into the urinary tract and get an infection,” he says. He adds that women have a shorter urethra than men, which is why they get more UTIs and it's recommended for women to wipe from front to back.

How do people with no arms wipe? ›

There are several options for these tasks, such as the FreedomWand, Juvo Self-Assist Toilet Aid, Bottom Buddy, Self Wipe, Comfort Wipe and so on.

What are the correct ways to wipe? ›

The Right Way to Wipe

Simply reach behind your back and between your legs, using plenty of crumpled or folded toilet tissue. Wipe backward from the perineum , the space between the genitals and anus, moving toward and past the anus. Use additional wads of toilet tissue as needed until the paper is mostly clean.

What happens if you wipe from back to front? ›

“If you wipe back to front, there's a potential to introduce bacteria from the feces into the urinary tract and get an infection,” he says. He adds that women have a shorter urethra than men, which is why they get more UTIs and it's recommended for women to wipe from front to back.

Can wiping the wrong way cause UTIs? ›

UTI myth: Hygiene habits and clothing fit contribute to UTIs. You may have heard that certain hygiene practices are risk factors for UTIs, particularly for women. But UTIs are not caused by how you wipe in the bathroom, by tampon use, or by failing to empty your bladder after sex.

Do most people wipe up or down? ›

Some people remain sitting, while others stand up to the task. Whisper conducted a survey of 100 people, split equally between men and women. Polling them on their sit-or-stand preference, we found that 79% of respondents were sitters, and only 21% stand up to wipe.

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