Dating is fun for almost no one -- especially not the serial dating that’s become so popular since the rise of free online sites and apps such as OkCupid and Tinder.
But besides the draining mental effects of having to sit through yet another dinner with someone so boring they make you want to spill your beer on your shirt just to have an excuse to go home -- are these dates also draining your wallet?
If you date online or use an app, you’re probably used to going on more casual dates, like for coffee, or a stiff gin and tonic. These cost an average of $13.58, according to RateSupermarket’s annual Cost of Love study.
Movie dates, with all the trimmings of popcorn, pop and candy, cost an average of $47.58.
Fancy dates of a nice dinner or theatre tickets, which you probably save for only the special top three people on your roster, cost an average of $194.50.
“If you’re a single person and going on a number of these dates it comes down to budgeting really well for the uptick in your dining and entertainment cost,” says Penelope Graham, editor of RateSupermarket.ca.
And let’s face, it’s mostly males who are going to have to do the budgeting -- there’s no area where the gender divide is still so palpable than the initial stages of heterosexual courtship.
Men tend to pay for the entertainment, and women tend to assume their contribution is paying for pre-date grooming to look good.
But because people who are dating online and from apps are going on just so many more first dates these days, neither gender seems to be investing too heavily in either entertainment or grooming.
“I think most men are really sweet and I think most men know that they need to pay for the first date,” says Sarah Librach, a Torontonian in her late-20s who averages three first-dates a month.
“I have been on dates where guys are super cheap. I went on a date with someone, I went to Starbucks and they asked me which tea I wanted.”
“Dude! You’re taking me to Starbucks for a date, and it’s less than $5. I don’t want tea, I want a branded latte. So I was really embarrassed, so I just asked for a Grande Calm (chamomile tea).”
Even Librach, who adheres to traditional general roles, doesn’t bother shelling out too much cash for beautifying herself until she thinks it’s serious.
“A date is a date. A date, you’re seeing the person once, so you can do your makeup, you can put on nice clothes, pay like, $10 for a manicure,” she says. Once you’re in a relationship, they see you all the time. That’s when you have to start getting bikini waxes, doing your hair, getting your eyebrows tinted, getting your eyelashes extended.”
Being in a relationship would cost Librach an extra $130 a month just for primping: $25 for a bikini wax, $20 for eyebrows tinting and $85 for eyelash extensions.
Nevertheless, even the bare basics of $10 for nails, and $15 for a round a pints can add up significantly, especially if, like some of my friends, you’re going on upwards of two first dates a week.
Here’s some tips to save cash while still swiping right to your heart’s content. Just be warned, they may not land you a second date:
- Graham says, “It could be a good idea to put (the bill) on a credit card so you earn rewards for specific spending.”
- Use those same reward points on the date. For example, if you have a Scotiabank SCENE Visa, only take her only to the movies. Or if you have a PC Financial MasterCard, take her for a picnic in the romantic aisles of Loblaw. Or better yet, No Frills.
- Schedule your dates only from Sundays-Wednesdays, from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. Not only do most bars and restaurants have superior drink and appetizer specials early in the week, they usually have additional savings during happy hour.
- Paint your nails yourself. Use White-Out to get that classy French Manicure look.
- On a sunny day, spend the afternoon at a busy park, like Trinity Bellwoods in Toronto. Bring a blanket and a bottle of wine. If the cops come close, just start running. They’ll feel so bad she got ditched, they’ll probably let the $130 fine slide.
- Take all your first-dates to the same bar, so the bartender gets to know you, comes to pity you and turn your singles into doubles.
- Bring a selection of your own teabags to coffee dates— hot water and cups are free!
- Take her on the ultimate, cheap first date: a bus ride, a la Josh Hartnett in '40 Days and 40 Nights.' Good luck to you though if you don’t look like Hartnett.
