The Golden Rule For Hospitality (2024)

MAKING IT IN CALIFORNIA

After almost 50 years as a CFO, and as a Christian, I write about the experiences, the close calls, and the futuremonthly newsletter

The Golden Rule has been widely misunderstood and mistranslated. The version we always hear, does not make any sense at all:

"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

I like vanilla ice cream. My wife loves chocolate ice cream. So I'm supposed to give her vanilla, hoping she would give me vanilla back, and she's not pleased with what I gave, and may give me chocolate, when I was hoping for vanilla.

The part of the Golden Rule found in Matthew 7 that few people ever quote, begins in verse 9, when Jesus said:

"...what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?"

This is a great analogy for a hotel or restaurant. "Excuse me, I asked for a bed, not a granite slab", or "This bread is rock hard..."

Verse 10 similarly says:

"Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?"

Notice that the two examples are about your own children, or grand children. My wife loves to serve our grandkids their favorite food or drink. She relishes watching them devour it, especially if they are famished, which is always. It gives her as much, or even more satisfaction to serve them. In hospitality, this should be the goal, although it is usually with strangers. What if they were treated as family? We should get to know these strangers, expect that they will be back, and encourage it. We were recently at a restaurant where we somehow found out what the waitress was studying. We shared about our involvement in the same matter, and mutually enjoyed our conversation. Believe me, when in town, there is no question where we will dine.

Back to the 2nd example; imagine going to Kings Fishhouse, and you order sword fish, and they bring you a snake or an eel. Again, you'll say

"Excuse me, but I ORDERED FISH, NOT A SNAKE!!!"

Speaking of which, we were at the New York Restaurant show in the early 2000's, and Jeffrey King, came into our booth, and asked my wife if we had visited their latest store in Southern California. She said yes, but we did not eat there, because the lines were too long. He then told her "Next time, tell them that you're my sister in law", and believe me, we love to share that story often with their staff. While at the show, others would come by and say "You'll never make it in this business; your chairs are way too comfortable". Poetic justice was that our chairs are now in fine restaurants like Lawry's in Beverly Hills and Five Crowns in Newport Beach.

Funny that the New York Times just wrote about Fast Furniture, likening it to Fast Food. But, they also referred to it as "disposable furniture", that would end up clogging our land fills within the next few years. Compare that with the chair we saw at Mission Inn in Riverside CA, which my father made in the 1960's. There's something to be said about meeting the needs of restaurants and hotels. I can imagine they often wonder "Isn't there quality furniture that doesn't fall apart withing two years?".

Whether family, friends, or strangers, we should strive to please them. But, how can we know what strangers want? Well the key is in verse 12:

"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you..."

Lets stop right there, before you try doing something that a stranger may not appreciate. Notice that this refers to things that you like others to do for you. It's obviously based on a relationship. Your wife may do things for you, knowing that you appreciate them, but it doesn't mean that she would appreciate you doing the same for her. My wife loves liver and onions, and deviled eggs; yuck! Guess what she never serves me?

There was a TV commercial where a guy shows up at the door, and the announcer says: "Don't you love when your friend brings your favorite wings and beer when they come to watch the game with you?" I had a friend who would call me, about once a week, to meet him for coffee. The only time I said no, was when I was out of town. He moved away 15 years ago, and though I've hinted a LOT, no one has replaced him as my 'coffee buddy'.

The only way the Golden Rule works, is when you take the time to find out what people enjoy. Years ago, I read the book E-myth, Revisited, by Michael Gerber. In one of the chapters, he shared this fictitious story about a hotel, in the California Redwoods, and how they took the time to find out what their clients enjoyed. So, the story continued that they put your favorite newspaper on your door step, and served your favorite coffee, and so on. That story is a great analogy for how hospitality should operate, relevant even for today. I even wished there was such a place that I can visit. Imagine how many stories are told and retold, about the wonderful service one received from a restaurant or hotel?

The rest of the Golden Rule concludes:

"Do you even so, to them".

"Even so", means in like manner. It is not referring to the object of your likes. It refers to things that delight. Everyone (should you be interested in finding out) has unique delights. Some love coffee; some hate coffee.

Magic Genie

Last year, I was on the Clubhouse Audio App, and the author of Go-Giver, Bob Burg, was the guest speaker. I was fortunate to share an idea I had, and he really liked it. His very popular book, encourage people to think about giving, more than getting. The subject of the book was raised on the belief that you should always seek to get, and be a go-getter. This did not sit right with Bob, and so he wrote Go-Giver. The idea I shared, was to do a room where we asked "If you met a Magic Genie, what would your three requests be, other than money?". The point was, that someone in the room may have a need, and there may be a Magic Genie in the audience, someone who can actually take it upon themselves to meet that need. We recorded the room, and you can find it on Clubhouse. There were serious connections made, like my co=host, who had cerebral palsy, and just months before he discovered Clubhouse, had contemplated suicide. Another guest said her wish was that she had never been born. Wow. the needs, and wants, and wishes out there are great, if people only took the time, to meet the needs of strangers. The story of the Good Samaritan comes to mind.

My Wishes

My wife and I had been blessed so much, that I honestly cannot say I need anything. But, what I want, you don't need a magic genie. Here's an example:

A coffee buddy

A real leather belt, from a thrift store, that is no more than $2 (size 42 please)

Help me tie up the boysenberry vines (you will take home plants, but bring gloves)

Like the saying, the best things in life are free. The other day, I kissed my wife in front of my kids and grandkids, then I turned to them and repeated that saying, and added that it's also non-fattening.

I hope to get some comments on this, like what are some of your wishes. Who knows, there may be a Magic Genie in the audience.