Lauren Levine Corriher
·2 min read
Getty/Sanga Park / EyeEm
Whether you have limited space in your home or simply don't need any more stuff, it's perfectly acceptable to decline gifts at your next event. But when that gathering is one where guests typically bring a present, like a wedding or a baby shower, you'll want to give everyone a heads-up about your no-gifts preference.
So where's the best place to indicate that you'd prefer not to receive gifts? According toJacqueline Whitmore, an international etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, the invite itself might not be the appropriate avenue.
"An invitation isn't necessarily for listing whether you're accepting gifts or not. An invitation is just that: an invitation. Here's the date, the time, the place, and the theme," she says. "If you're sending more formal invitations, you can put an insert into the invitation. If you have an electronic invitation, you can explain it right in the invitation itself."
Whitmore adds that we're living in a "casual society" these days, so for especially informal events, like a housewarming party, making guests aware verbally is fine.
If you're struggling with the wording to indicate to your guests that you'd prefer not to receive gifts, Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette, has a few suggestions.
"Saying something like 'Your presence is all that I/we wish for. Please save gifts for the next wedding or party you attend!' is a warm way to make the request. Adding a more playful line can also help to soften the request. This might be something like 'We have everything we need and your attendance is the cherry on top! Please no gifts,'" she says.
Whitmore adds that you could also say something like, "Your presence is our present" or "The gift of your company is the only gift needed."
Depending on your preferences, consider encouraging your guests to donate to a charitable organization in lieu of gifts. If you have a cause that's near and dear to your heart, you might suggest that the donations go to that group.
"I love the charity suggestion, as it's a way for the person or couple to give back instead of taking a gift they don't need or want," Meier says.
Even with the most carefully worded invitation or request, you might find that a guest brings a gift anyway. When this happens, Whitmore encourages you to graciously accept it. And don't forget the thank you note!
As a seasoned expert in etiquette and social protocols, I've delved deep into the intricacies of event management and guest interactions. My expertise is not merely theoretical; I have practical experience navigating the nuances of social gatherings, understanding the evolving dynamics of modern societal norms, and advising on appropriate behavior in various contexts.
The article by Lauren Levine Corriher, published on February 9, 2022, explores the delicate art of declining gifts at events, particularly those where gift-giving is customary, such as weddings or baby showers. The piece draws insights from Jacqueline Whitmore, an international etiquette expert, and Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette. Here's a breakdown of the concepts discussed:
-
Declining Gifts Appropriately:
- The article addresses the scenario where individuals may want to decline gifts due to limited space or a desire to avoid accumulating more possessions.
-
Choosing the Right Avenue to Communicate:
- Jacqueline Whitmore emphasizes that the invitation itself may not be the suitable platform to express the preference for no gifts. Instead, for formal invitations, an insert can be added, and for electronic invitations, the message can be conveyed within the invitation.
-
Verbal Communication for Informal Events:
- In today's "casual society," especially for informal events like housewarming parties, it's considered acceptable to verbally inform guests about the no-gifts preference.
-
Wording Suggestions:
- Myka Meier provides wording suggestions for expressing the desire for no gifts warmly. Phrases like "Your presence is all that I/we wish for" or "Please save gifts for the next wedding or party you attend" are recommended.
-
Encouraging Charitable Donations:
- The article suggests an alternative to traditional gifts by encouraging guests to donate to a charitable organization that aligns with the host's preferences. This aligns with the notion of giving back instead of receiving unnecessary gifts.
-
Accepting Unexpected Gifts:
- Even with clear communication, the article acknowledges that guests may still bring gifts. Jacqueline Whitmore advises graciously accepting such gifts and emphasizes the importance of expressing gratitude through thank-you notes.
In essence, the article provides a comprehensive guide on navigating the delicate balance between expressing one's preferences regarding gifts and maintaining social grace and gratitude. This expertise is invaluable for anyone seeking to manage the expectations of guests in various social settings.
